It is slowly sinking in.

I think it can be hard for people to know what it is like to pack up and move to a foreign country. My first few days in Italy, well it was a vacation, and it did not really sink into me what it meant to be across an ocean, away from much of what I consider to be familiar, and comfortable. I have now been settled into Verbania for two weeks, and this is the longest I have stayed in any place in Italy so far. It is starting to sink in. It is starting to become real. I don't want people to think that I regret coming, I don't. It is just a surreal reality. I am starting to become uncomfortable, starting to realize what it is like to not be able to come home due to the immense geographic distances. I am encountering people very different then what I am used to. I am encountered prejudices within myself that I did not even know I have. By all worldly standards I should be scared -- I am outside of my comfort zone. But....

But God did not build us for this world, but for the world to come. At times, yes I am scared, and sad, but this passes. What does not pass is that I can kneel down and pray. Encounter Him who does not change. To experience His Spirit dwelling in me, and through what I do experience and will experience, know that he is forming me. I know now at times it will hurt, but I remember what C.S. Lewis says about a sculpture. Each blow of the chisel causes it dear pain, but in the end it is a shining masterpiece. It will hurt, it will involve self sacrifice, it will mean renouncing, and mean leaving and even being forced from my comfort zone. In the end I am Christian though, and this means I am part of the people of Hope. I remember the last line of "Amazing Grace": "When we'd been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the Sun..." It is through this all that He, the one who loves me, Jesus, polishes me so that yes, one day I will be bright shining as the sun.

Still need to up-date much with pictures:
1) Siena
2) Volterra
3) Verbania
4) Switzerland

Well I saw the Pope (again)

The next day was the Pallium Mass and the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul. Of course being in Rome this is a big holiday. Businesses are closed, no school, etc. The North American College is always very good about providing tickets for the big events at the Basilica of Saint Peter. So a whole crew from NAC headed on over to the "bid ol' Church" for the Mass. For my first Papal Mass, it was very beautiful. What is most striking is that there were literally people from every corner of the world there. The Mass was celebrated using five different languages, French, English, Spanish, German, and Latin. It was really my first experience of the Catholic Church as catholic. As the book of Revelations say, "You [Christ] were slain, and with your blood you purchased for God men of every people and race, nation and tongue, and every tribe." The Catholic Church is the most inclusive institution in the world, never is it asked before baptism about nationality, income, race, intelligence, or any other factor, expect to be human, a beloved child of God. What is should do to the individual Catholic is to expand his heart, so that he can love men of ever nation and tribe. Wow! Does that ever sound difficult, but we do not do this alone. This love, pure and filled with truth and light, comes to us from God. It comes through any means God chooses (notice, not any means we choose, God is in charge here), primarily through the liturgy. It is the living again of the mystery of the incarnation, passion, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. At Mass God comes to earth, and through the power of the Holy Spirit in the sacrament we are brought, crossing the boundries of space and time, to experience being at the foot of the Cross. It is through this that God gives us the gift of the pure Christian love that can expand our heart of make room for all people. Fr. Ronald Rolheiser says this is good prepartion of heaven where you will be with "men of every race, and tonuge..." Just think this was only once Mass, imagine what the next five years will be like.

First Full Day In Rome

Well a lot has happened in the last two and a half weeks, since my last entry. First of all I AM IN ROME. After arriving on Wednesday evening Rome time, the college picked up two other seminarians and me at the airport. After one quick and crazy drive to the college, the firs thing we did before dinner, unpacking, showering, shaving, sightseeing, was to celebrate the Holy and Perfect Sacrifice of the Mass. Molta bella! It was a cold cena (supper) that was help over for us, since the college knew we would be famished. We had one quick tour of the whole place and then off to bed since we were exhausted. Ho molto stenco!

The next morning was mass and breakfast, and my first experience of the wonders of the Italian bureaucracy at in action (more like inaction), since the saintly Elena, the secretary to the rector took us to get our residency papers. I am after all a temporary immigrant to Italy. Let’s just leave it at “it was quite the experience.” After that was the first of firsts, my first pranzo (lunch) at the college. Romans and Italians in general have a gracious tradition of making noon-lunch a long a relaxing meal. This is dying off in many parts of Italy, but is still holding strong at the North American College. It starts with prima coursa (first course) of soup or pasta (maybe rice or potatoes), then the secunuda coursa (surprise, surprise: second course) of meat, fish, eggs, or cheese with a vegetable. Next comes the salad which is dressed at the table, and then fruit. On feast days the whole deal is preceded by antipasti (appetizers), and followed by desserts. Wine is served at every table. Pranzo a P.N.A.C. e’ molto buono! I will get very accustomed to this.

(A view from my window, the NAC Chapel is to the right, and I would have a good view of the hills that surrond Rome if Saint Peter's wasnt' in the way, chuckle.)

Now it was time for a trek into the city for the first time to run a little errand of buying clerical shirts, since in Rome seminarians where the clerical shirts that you are used to seeing on priest, and they are cheaper in Rome, so I went to buy some. (You might think that the previous sentence was a run-on sentence, but as far as I can tell long sentences are encouraged in the Italian language), saw some sights during this trip, like the Pantheon, which is an ancient Roman temple dedicated to all the gods. It is famous because of its age (almost two thousand years), and because of the giant hole in its dome, which is called an occuli. It owes its survival to being converted by Christians into a church dedicated to Mary and the Roman Martyrs.

Well it was my first day in Rome and I have seen most the places that I wanted to see in my first few days, except that there was one person that I wanted to pray with that I had not yet met. So I hoped on a bus with my friend Anthony Craig from Duluth, Minnesota to go to Vespers at the basilica of Saint Paul Outside the Walls. Saint Paul is one of the four major basilicas in Rome; this means that it is very big, very beautiful, and very important. It was recently in the news, since the tomb of Saint Paul was rediscovered within its walls this past spring. Vespers is an evening prayer service based off of the psalms. All priests and sisters are required to pray it, and the laity is encouraged to pray it. Unlike the United States, it is actually fairly common for parishes in Rome and the rest of Italy to have vespers services daily or weekly. What was significant about this vespers service was that I got to pray with the person that I was hoping to pray with, that person being Benedict XVI. He was the presider at vespers at Saint Paul Outside the Walls. It was even quasi-historical since he proclaimed a jubilee year of Saint Paul. A whole year devoted to the life of Saint Paul during which the faithful are encouraged to pray over his works (most of the New Testament), make pilgrimage, and in general it is a time of renewal of the spiritual life. Not bad for my first full day in Rome is it?

After vespers Anthony and I met up with a mutual friend from Chicago, Andrew Liagminus for dinner at a little local Roman trattoria, called Abruzzi. It was very delicious. Melons are currently in season in the area around Rome, so of course we enjoyed the prosciutto and melon for antipasto, and for the meat course I had some delicious ossobuco. Ossobuco is one of the signature dishes of Rome, although it can be had in other areas of Italy. It is a roasted veal shank, with the marrow bone still in. Usually it is served with peas and mashed potatoes. What is memorable about ossobuco is that the marrow is still in the bone, so it is Roman custom to suck or slurp the marrow out at the end of the course. It is actually very good. The rest of the evening was spent walking the streets of Rome, and talking with Anthony, and with Andrew, who I probably will not see again for two more years. It was a late night upon returning to the college.

I am off.

Optional Memorial of Saint Josemaria Escriva

If any of you are in Rome in the next five years, drop me a line and stop by for a visit. The best way to contact me is email at roman.seminarian.gbdioc@gmail.com

Saint Josemaria Escriva -- Ora Pro Nobis.

(Nervous as all heck -- so I am flying with Mary and Joseph in my prayers)

Summer Days (Daze?)

How do I start to describe my much abridged summer? For a while I had felt abandoned by God. But this is not really fair -- he is present everywhere, at all times. No the problem has been with me. Why have I spotted my "hour of power?" A daily commitment to prayer. It is odd going from the environment of seminary, in which the very structure of the day facilitates the interior life -- holy hour with adoration, communal Liturgy of the Hours, mandatory Mass, and plenty of solitude and quiet. Then there is home. Being home really is a blessing, especially considering how short my stay home is in comparison to two years in Rome. But now I have the challenge, and every challenge is really an opportunity, a graced moment that God wishes to use to teach us, yes a very "sacrament of the moment," to make the spiritual life a personal relationship with God, one Incorporated into the fabric of my life, not imposed from an external institution, even the most benevolent institution like a Roman Catholic Seminary.

How am I doing? Well to be honest horrible, but this just reflects my own weakness and my dependence on the regiment of the seminary. I have fallen -- into old habits of sinfulness in both thought and deed, and I have been half-hearted in my spiritual life ("my love is not for half-hearted men...").

So my prayer was a prayer of awaiting -- waiting for the presence of God to come to me. This was a false-prayer though. God is radically present -- at each moment. This has been my focus for the last week and a half -- the presence of God. God is not the God of the dead, but of the living -- living is present. God is of the present. He meets me now.

Man, Am I Tired.

The last week of finals really drained me. This is surprising since I do not usually get tired out with academic work and my finals load was not really all that hard. It has been one of those rich weeks though looking back on it. It is hard to believe everything that has gone on in the last seven days.
Tuesday was great -- going into the great all American city of Chicago to get my Italian VISA. I am a country bumpkin through and through, but I love walking the streets of cities and just being with people. It will be my last visit to Chicago in awhile, and it was nice to just have the walk down Adams street, up Michigan and across the bridge to the Italian Consulate.

It was also a great taste of Italian buecracy inaction (lack of action). What I think is draining is that do to this schedule I have missed my "hour of power" for three days in a row, and that is just wiping me out.

I was actually very happy when I went to Marytown for confession on Thursday night and I had to wait in line for over an hour. Just an hour to think, and reflect.


It was a treasure. Today was the ordination for the great archdiocese of Chicago at Holy Name Cathedral. Jesus now has thirteen new priests to serve him. Praise be the LORD, now and forever.

"Jesus Christ, A priest forever, like Melchizedek, Offered Break and Wine."

Farewell Mundelein

My year at Mundelein is almost over. First thoughts are that it went really quickly, much quicker than I thought it would, and I am really grateful for having a chance to be here, to encounter God here, to meet the men that I have met here. It as been a great experience for me. It is time to say good-bye to this, and move on to another part of my life.

VIEW OVER THE LAKE

One of the best parts of being at Mundelein was to have time to reflect on going to Rome. At the beginning of this last summer I had told the diocese that I was willing to go, but inside I was anxious and unsettled. I was going because I was asked to go, but did not feel called to go. It was during the many quiet conversations with Fr. Murphy and the abundant silence, in which God's voice is heard, that I really started hearing that ancient voice that was telling me that he would still be there in Rome.

INTERIOR OF THE CHAPEL

I also think that I have really have grown too. I can thank some of the more difficult men at Mundelein for this. There are not many, but a few seminarians, who seem to try and make life in community more difficult for the other seminarians. It was during these interactions that I started started to see the slight sliver of what it means to love like God loves. To look at that person, who I honestly want to turn my back to, and see the good within them and try to draw it out. That is why I think God puts difficult people in our lives, so that we can learn how to love as he loves, because which people has been more obeisant then us? Yet God still loves us.

NICE (OLD) VIEW THAT I FOUND

I have included some pictures from Mundelein.

Some Thematic Pictures

An aerial view of Pontifical North American College, the dormatories are the three wings on the left that make a zig-zag, and the chapel is on the right (towering four stories high).

Crest of North American College, where I will be living and be spiritually and pastorally formed to be a priest for the third millenium.

This is pretty much what the view from my front door will look like, not bad for a typical walk to school.

Flag of Vatican City

View of the Nave of Saint Peter Basilica, the heart of the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church, I think this is looking east.

Ponifical Gregorian University, also known as the "Greg." This is where I will be studying for at least the first three years (called first cycle), and possibly second cycle (the last two to three years). For the first three years all classes are taught European-style lectures in Italian.

Rome: Episode One

Almost three weeks ago. I was up at Saint John Vianney at the University of Saint Thomas, visiting Ryan, Drew, and T. Craig, who had already purchased his ticket for Rome. So last Sunday I decided to buy mine from Aer Lingus (go Ireland) (Chicago to Dublin to Rome). By co-incidence it happens to be the same flight that Tony is on, which will be good since this I am not an experienced flier, and this is my first time having to go through customs and all that jazz. This is all good, and the excitement is starting to build, since now in my hands I have an actual flight itinerary, making the whole prospect of going to Rome much more real, much more tangible. It is just the build up to greater news though.

The very next day (Monday, April 30) I received the email equivalent of the thick packet from the Pontifical North American College (PNAC). As you can imagine this excited me to no end for this whole past week. So come June it is off to Ireland and Italy, come August it is moving next door to the Pope (almost literally, PNAC and the Vatican are about a quarter mile apart), come September it is time to start lectures in a language that I do not yet know.

I really am filled with a profound sense of gratitude for having this opportunity before. I do not know what I will be asked to do in the next few month, the next five to six years, or where this will all lead me during my time on earth, but I trust that I am getting lead along the right path.

Esto Vir Christi