A blog entry from another seminarian:

As a seminarian I like to read the blogs of other seminarians. Here is an interesting blog entry from a Catholic seminarian in England:

Until yesterday I was a Catholic Seminarian being formed for the Catholic Priesthood. Today I am no longer in that position.

As some of you will know I used to be an Anglican Clergyman, and became a Catholic about three and a half years ago. I started exploring the possibility of being ordained a Priest in the Catholic Church, and, as I was married, a request for a dispensation was sent off to Rome in order to allow me to be ordained as a married man (as a good few former Anglicans have been allowed to do previously).

In the meantime I completed an MA in Catholic Theology, and was accepted by my diocese for training. For the last year and a half I have been a part-time seminarian at the wonderful St Mary's Seminary, Oscott.

Yesterday I heard that Rome (the CDF I believe) have not granted my dispensation. I shan't go into the reasons here, but in case other people read this who are awaiting for dispensations I would counsel them not to be too worried, as my case is somewhat unusual!

What I want to focus on though is the thought process I went through on receiving this news...

Initially I was in a state of shock and disbelief... here I was, with only a few months to go at seminary, and Rome said "No!" The finality was (and is) painful. Then I briefly considered going back to the Church of England (at least I could carry on a priestly role there). Then I felt anger... (who were these celibate old men in Rome, who don't know me from Adam to make such a decision about me, to wreck my life like this?)

Then I sunk into a sense of grief, the loss of long cherished dreams and hopes. Now that may seem a lot of emotions for just over one day, and I guess that a lot of them were felt concurrently, rather than consecutively.

Then after the above feelings I stopped thinking like a protestant, and started thinking like a Catholic.

Yes the shock, and pain are still there, but how could I think of going back to the Church of England? I accept the claims of the Catholic Church, going back to the Church of England would be to lie to myself and all around me.

Then as well, one of the reasons I became a Catholic was because of the Church's sense of authority. How could I joyfully accept her authority when I agreed with her, but rail with anger against her when she made a decision I find personally difficult? No she is my mother, and God works through her. If I only submit graciously to her will when I like what she says, but kick and shout when I don't like what she says... well then I cease to be a Catholic, and instead become a Protestant!

To be a Catholic has to mean to be willing to put aside our own self will and to submit to the will of the Church, which we believe to be guided by God, or it means nothing at all.

I am not fully certain about what the future holds for me now, I have much thinking, praying and talking still to do... but what I do know is that I am a Catholic... and there is no greater honour or joy to be had in this life than to be in this Ark of Salvation, The One Holy Catholic Church, founded by Jesus Christ, on the rock of Peter.

Please keep him in prayer. As God has prepared a place for me in his house, let us remember the word from the 14th chapter of John, "In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?" I am confident that God has prepared a special dwelling place for this seminarian.